Tiny Islands

We stood in line behind nine (*kokonatsu!) Japanese girls in the sweltering Bangkok airport waiting to clear customs before we could get our connecting flight to Phuket. People kept putting stickers on me and sending me to one after the other poorly bounded line. When we finally got to the Thai Airways desk to check in for our connector I realized I'd lost my ticket. The lady behind the counter acted like this was a deal breaker and I'd have to make my own way down south but with a little pleading she wrote me up a new ticket and we were on our way.

From Phuket we got a taxi to the pier and hopped on a full-of-holes boat. It was taking on gallons of water and no-one seemed to care except for the pale white, fresh off the plane tourists. We all looked around the passenger area, laughing nervously and trying not to make eye-contact. Halfway to Phi-Phi both Kristy and I realized we both had to... well, pee, really bad (ironic!). Kristy was a little worse off than I so she went on deck and there encountered a violently rocking, soaking wet deck with no hand rail down which she was supposed to walk to reach the toilet. Mission: Aborted. We crossed our legs and hoped for the best. When a girl three rows behind us started puking into a plastic bag I thought "why not just piss yourself? It's no worse than vomit." Of course if I had, ahem, opened the floodgates they would have said I was gross. Go figure. When the seas calmed we took turns using the "toilet" (hole in the floor of the boat with a bucket over it). Finally we made it to Phi-Phi Island where Kristy and I would have to wait for another boat to Ko Lanta.

It was time for a beer.

We found a beachside bar and ordered two Singhas and did a little people-watching. The Lonely Planet, in one of it's panting, undignified attempts to sound hip, describes Phi-Phi Island as having beaches that will bring a tear to your eye but "shed another when you realize you're sharing it with every Speedo on the planet." It was, however, true. Do the 250 lb. 5' 8" tall guys who wear Speedos just not look in the mirror before they leave their room? Who let them buy the suit int he first place?

Anyway, we ambled back down to the pier, got onto the boat back to Phuket, realized our error, quickly hustled onto the boat to Ko Lanta and we were off!


*This is my favorite word in all of the Japanese language. You use it to count nine things or people. Like, if you and eight of your friends are out drinking you could order "kokonatsu" beers. We did this once with three people and had a blast.